I'm the madwoman behind the wheel at szeretlek.net. I write a lot of mad, rambling bullshit and post obscene amounts of pornography so be forewarned: your workplace thinks you're a dick for being here.
I never really post here any more. That is not because 'writing as catharsis' is an exercise that I've purged myself of, but rather, it is an exercise that I'm manifesting elsewhere and in different forms.
Today I felt nostalgic and wanted to revisit this place for old time's sake. The language and style that I now (generally) employ makes the writer of before seem quaint; I used to approach journal writing with a capricious wit that belied an underlying mental struggle. But did it? Looking back, I only really fooled the 'old' me and the occasional bystander who lacked a view of the totality of the circumstances. The 'new' me is laughing pitiably at the chronicled wreckage.
I've learned a lot about myself in the last year. I won't go into too much detail, because the discovery has been uplifting to the point where I'd risk being ostentatious trying to describe the full effect of it.
But I'll tell you a good piece of news that made me feel like I am on my way to becoming who I want to be: today I received a high distinction on my criminal law essay. It was the most difficult paper I have ever written in my life, and I spent days mired in agony and self-doubt over my ability to best address the material.
The 'new' me still keeps 'old' relics around, such as the aforementioned self-doubt. The trick, for me, is to keep sorting out the keepsakes from the rubbish.